You know those moments in parenthood when your heart just breaks wide open and you realize you need to do some damage control?? Yup. I sure do. That's what this week's Thrifty Thursday post is all about. Financial-Parenting-Damage Control.
I always forget how tough the months after Christmas and before Easter are. It's not that I'm dealing with a nasty credit card bill from too much Christmas spirit. We don't go into debt for Christmas. We just don't do it because we know first hand how hard it is to pay back money we don't have after the fact. Instead we keep the gifts simple and thoughtful.
It's the fact that food and heating costs go way up after Christmas. Everyone is inside and near the kitchen and thoughts turn to snack time multiple times a day. Combine that with the fact that The Boy is now 13 and The Em-ster is 10 and it really is unbelievable how much food kids can pack away!
It has been bitterly cold this winter. Today I woke up and my car thermometer told me it was -18C and when I got in my car at 4:30 this afternoon it was still -18C. Plus the wind chill. Burr. We live in a 50 year old house that desperately needs to be reinsulated and as a result the furnace seems to be going constantly.
I've been trying to make sure all the bills get paid on time and budget out money for The Boy's grade 8 trip in June plus the cost of everyone wanting to entertain themselves with friends. Our resources have been spread pretty thin this last little while and really the only place I have room to move is the grocery budget. I didn't realize how much this was stressing everyone out until The Boy vented finally tonight when I was trying to work out the finances for this pay period.
Ugh.
It's not that anyone was going hungry or that the fridge and cupboards were empty-far from it. It's the fact that the stress of "doing without" was getting to him. The doing without the food that isn't nutritionally dense that everyone always wants (read:chips, ice cream, lunchmeat). I wrote in yesterday's post about the push and pull of not buying your kids everything they want so they fit it versus making sure they feel comfortable in their social group and not odd man out. It seems lunches are a political arena as well.
Ethically I find it hard to buy lunchmeat, white bread, cheese strings and Jos Louis' for their lunches. That food is expensive, full of stuff I don't want them putting in their bodies and pretty low on the nutritional scale but that's what they want and what they claim all their friends get.
What's a mom to do?? What do you tell your kids that actually gets beyond the peer pressure side of their lunch choices??
So damage control. I assured him all is well financially and that the reason he was getting the food he was getting was because it's healthier in the long run but I will make sure he finds some treats in the cupboard for next week. I sent him and his dad and sister to the store tonight to begin the shopping. I think letting him see the cart fill up with the staples (milk, eggs, fruit and something tasty for lunch) will make him feel better about things. We had a good conversation about what he considers essentials that he doesn't want to see go empty and I included a chat on the importance of rationing things out so they last. His list is a reasonable one that I can totally get behind: milk, bread (whole wheat is fine), fruit, yoghurt, salsa dip makings, eggs and the dreaded lunchmeat. Gotta choose your battles mama!
I am learning that kids too just want to feel like they're being listened to. I am learning that I am inflexible sometimes and I need to bend my own rules when it really matters. I am learning that my idea of what real poverty is and what their idea of poverty is are blessedly far apart but they need to feel safe in the fact that there will always be food in the cupboards.
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