My grandmother turned 90 today. She lives in a nursing home now and hasn't been able to knit for a few years due to the arthritis in her fingers. Arthritis is making it extremely difficult for her to walk and from what I understand she gets around in a wheelchair most of the time.
While I only live about an hour away my work and my family's schedule keep me from visiting her. I wish it was otherwise because I know she won't be around to wait for me to be free or my kids to be older and able to keep themselves occupied without tying one another up or setting fire to things to see what would happen.
I feel sad for her that she can't knit because I know she deeply misses it. When I go to see her I make sure to bring along something I'm working on and show her pictures of my Etsy creations. I hope it helps. I know she likes to know that I'm knitting.
Tomorrow my extended family is getting together at her home to celebrate her 90 years on this earth. It seems to me like 90 demands something more than coffee and cake, 2 hours in the party room of a nursing home. To be honest I am struggling with the scope of this event tomorrow. In my heart I think someone should have made reservations for the lot of us at her favourite restaurant or invited everyone related to her and had a really big party. However I am the grand-daughter. I only see her every couple of months and don't know the struggles of getting her comfortably in a car. I don't oversee the daily and weekly care and I am not in contact with the staff of the home to make sure everything is alright. I am trying to be open-minded and understanding and look beyond what I think and feel. But it's hard. Please excuse me.
Today at 38 I think I would like a big party when I turn 90. I would like to see everyone who is important to me (who's still alive anyway) at my party. I want to eat things I'm not allowed to eat and drink too much (snort-like 2 drinks). Arthritis won't dare take away the functioning of my fingers and I will be waving a knitting needle around to emphasize my point as I tell the same story yet again. I will be that old lady with a yarn-bombed walker and elegant long silver hair in a braid. I will wear bright coloured dresses that will make my kids roll their eyes just like when I was 38. I want to hug my great-grandchildren on my 90th birthday and I want them to know who I am. And when the party is over and all the guests have gone home I will sit in my chair and let the memories of the day wash over me, mixing with the memories of life lived as best I could.
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