Gratitude Sunday

Joining Taryn today at wooly moss roots for Gratitude Sunday~

Things I am Grateful for Today
1. FINALLY a warm and sunny day, the snow melting
2. Kids playing outside on bikes and scooters and playing road hockey
3. Time together as a family in Stratford, ON

(votive holders at Ten Thousand Villages in Stratford, ON)
4. Almost, almost finishing my Holden Shawlette on the car ride
5. Chocolates from Chocolate Barr's in Stratford. Decadent, so decadent!
6. 5 delicious jars of bean and bacon soup sitting in the fridge for my lunches this week
7. Cleaning out all the refined sugar in our house. Our doctor recommends that The Em-ster avoid refined sugar in hopes it will improve how she feels and how she behaves. No argument here!
8. Making time for myself to read and work through the tasks in The Artist's Way.
9. Time to play with word art.

10. A belated Christmas gift from a friend.

(Behold, my almost finished Holden Shawlette and a sheep yarn bowl-how awesome is that??!!!)

Mothering in real life

Sometimes my day feels like I've run the gamut. I get up and take a shower and get dressed all with a to-do list streaming through my head over and over again "need to make oatmeal, need to make lunches, don't forget to sign the kids' planners, make sure the Em-ster has her snowpants, remain calm at work, it's only for 8 hours then you can come home, don't forget to take the meat out of the freezer for dinner" That sort of thing. If I can somehow get my lunch and breakfast sorted out and by some miracle get The Em-ster into the car by 7:20 I am doing well. If I can do that, wipe the counter and The Em-ster is still in a good mood then I am buying a lottery ticket! The Em-ster does not like to be rushed and will snarl and will slow down on purpose making me late for work. Again.

Once I get to work it's 8 hours of mind-numbing boredom with another to do list running through my head depending on the day "have to get out by 4:30 to pick up The Em-ster by 5, make dinner, clean up, make sure homework is being done, bedtimes start at 8 and maybe, maybe, maybe I can sit down and knit for 5 mins while they are doing silent reading and then maybe, maybe, maybe once everyone is in bed I can climb into bed and read my own book for 1/2 an hour"

Moms, you know what I'm talking about! 

What really happens is what happened tonight. I was in the middle of dinner preparation, The Em-ster grabbed her roller blades but NOT her helmet and headed out the door. You can see the confrontation a mile away. You know if you can just get the wording and the tone right she'll come in and put her helmet on and then you can keep right on cooking dinner and the neighbours won't hear your dysfunctional parenting all the way down the street. But instead His Lordship yells out the door "Where's your helmet?? Come in and put on your helmet"and all is lost. The Em-ster came storming in the house already in a bad mood because her best friend wasn't at After-school care today, she grabs her helmet, claims she "doesn't need a freaking helmet, you idiot" and flies out the door again. Sigh.

No parent can or should ignore the "you idiot" part of that exchange. His Lordship orders her back in (so the whole neighbourhood can hear) and takes away the roller blades for a month because he's tired from a long day and sick of being called an idiot. 

This is what parenting actually looks like in my house. No sugar-coating it today. We're doing our best and some days we win and all is peaceful and some days we struggle to balance our own issues with our sensitive kids' natures.

No one said this was going to be easy.

No one tells you all this when you casually say that maybe you'd like to have kids.

Maybe they do but you don't hear them-hmmnm?

There is a reason babies are so soft and sweet and just smell so darn good because if they weren't and didn't and came out as 9 and 12 year olds the human race would end awfully quickly!!

What we Teach Our Children

There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth in our household tonight from The Boy about finances. He is wanting a new pocket knife but doesn't have enough to pay for it from his own funds. It was interesting to see his thought process and how what we've taught him has sunken through the layers. First he asked if there was some way for him to earn the money he was short. I told him he should check with his aunt and Oma and see if they needed some jobs done that they would be willing to pay him for. Then he asked if I could just give him the money. I told him we don't get paid again for another week and that wasn't going to work as we'd like to eat and put gas in the car, not to mention have enough money in the bank to cover the outstanding cheque for his summer Scout camp. Then he asked about money owed to him. I found it interesting how the whole conversation made me squirm a bit from having to say we couldn't afford to just give him money to how yes, we did owe him money for the use of his camera but couldn't pay him right now. Our own relationships with money get laid bare when having these types of conversations with our children. I am heartened by some of the things I can see he's learned such as how money is earned through hard work and that saving up for something is important (delayed gratification).
We live within our means, making sure our bills are paid each month and that we are both home each night for dinner. We don't have much extra right now so what little that is left over after bills and groceries has to be carefully spent. Some months that means a new furnace filter and shoes for growing feet and some months that means we go out for breakfast as a family because we need a treat.
I think my children will learn more from growing up in a thrifty home than if we gave them every opportunity we could and worried about how we would pay the mountain of credit card debt needed to make them "well rounded adults". What do you think?

Of a Tuesday night

Tonight being His Lordship's evening off I have done the following:
-cleaned up after dinner and run the dishwasher
-baked cinnamon-raisin pinwheels to gift a friend visiting tomorrow
-overseen as The Boy baked brownies (oh if you could smell the heavenly smell in my house right now!)
-summoned up great reserves of self-control and not eaten even the tiniest taste of brownies or the flaky-buttery-sweet goodness that is those pinwheels as I gave up wheat for Lent.
-counted down the number of days left until Lent is over (still 3 weeks left-oh the smell of those brownies!)
-guided homework time for the Em-ster (think: herding cats)
-put 2 kids to bed
-knitted 2 rows on a shawlette knit from some random worsted weight yarn found in my stash the colour of which reminds of cherry popsicles. Just what I needed on this cold, snowy day at the end of this unending winter
Now that all that is done and the house is peaceful and quiet it's time to do things for me. I'm thinking a wee snack, some doodling and then it's off to bed with my book. I've been reading Debbie Macomber lately and while her writing reminds me of how a little old lady would talk the stories are simple and satisfying and don't keep me up at night. It's the little things in life I think.

Sunday night

Ugh, 8pm on Sunday night and I feel like I've been run over by a truck. This is not a good way to start a week. I won't complain about the headache that won't go away or the unending tiredness I am still fighting with. Instead I will tell you about what I've been up to this week.
I began reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I first read it in my 20's (I don't remember why-maybe everyone was reading it?) and remember getting up early for awhile to write my "morning pages". Morning pages are 3 pages of stream of consciousness writing meant to get all the trash out of your mind before you start your day. I've been feeling empty and dissatisfied all winter and I've had this overwhelming urge to write but write what??? A small voice in the back of my mind told me reading The Artist's Way might help me to figure it out. For a week I have been getting up at (gasp) 6am to write morning pages.
It's funny how I can get up early to write 3 pages of complaints about having to get up early and all the things I need to do that day but I can't get up early to exercise which is something I used to enjoy. I blame the dark mornings and this never-ending winter.
I do feel more open to things everyday now but mostly I have this overwhelming urge to Make Things that I haven't experienced in a long time. I love quotes and collect them on Pinterest but now I need (NEED) to make them into something beautiful on paper. I wish I could show you but I can't as the memory in my computer is full to the brim and I haven't had time to remedy that. Hopefully this week. A blog without pictures is like cake without the icing. Nice but better with.
One of my assignments this week was to go on an artists date. So I took myself to a writing and gift store in Waterloo that I've been thinking about for awhile. They have an aisle of beautiful blank books and one of just pens. How great is that?! I love blank books and pens.
Well, the time is creeping on and I need to get these kids into bed.
Wishing you all whatever it is that sustains you for the week ahead, be it knitting, reading or just plain sleep!